


The Sticks

by orphan_account



Series: The End [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Apocalypse, Caretaker Hercules, Caretaker Marquis de Lafayette, F/F, F/M, Genderfluid John Laurens, Little Space, M/M, Major Character Injury, Maria Reynolds is Maria Lewis, Multi, Nonbinary Marquis de Lafayette, Nonbinary Peggy, Other, Trans Alexander Hamilton
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-07
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2019-03-27 19:10:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13887282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Hamilton always had the temper and the loud mouth for this.Laurens didn't have the heart to separate from him.





	1. Chapter 1

John didn't know what it was about. He spent a lot of time in his head these days, but when he didn't, by god he was one of the sharpest shooters around. He didn't fuck around, he knew what he was doing and he didn't hesitate. He was careful, he could be rather reckless but he was safe all the same. But he couldn't handle the apocalypse well, retreated into his mind rather often, and when he was _little_ , he _couldn't_ do much of the same. The loud bang of guns was scary for good reason, and arguments happened often. He always spaced out when arguments happened, tried to _completely_ ignore it. _Yelling_ , _crying_ , **_blaming_ **_each other for stupid mistakes_ , over and over, whether it was among each other or strangers they befriended and pulled into their group. Martha, John's ex wife, had left them over a year ago. They were friends, absolutely, and they'd leave all sorts of marks on places they went, staying in the US, so sometimes they'd find themselves in the same places, left notes scrawled on walls and on counters, places they knew they'd check for supplies or even just for the notes.

A _MLFL_ here, a _Rev.Set_ there. But with John in the mindset he generally was, his struggle to handle what was going on and the fact he just couldn't control Alexander and his temper anymore, they split up. Martha _swore_ to him she and Frances would be _safe_ with Maria, Eliza, Peggy and Angelica. Eliza had been adamant about taking Philip with them, didn't like Alexander's temper herself. She didn't deserve to deal with it, but John was on good terms with the girls and the kids, and it was a sort of tearful goodbye, but John knew they would do what they had to and above all, they'd protect each other and the kids no matter what.

Aaron was quick to split from the group with his girls and the Washington's as well. Martha and George had a safe place to stay and decided to really stay, start a farm, fortify the place and hold out there. They did well, and invited all of them to stay, but ultimately, the Rev Set as they called themselves decided they didn't feel safe staying in one place for so long, but thanked them for the offer. Maybe one day they'd come back and choose to stay for good, but it wasn't that day.

So Aaron, his wife and daughter stayed with the Washington's and they moved along. But the fights kept happening as days, weeks, months, years ticked by. Three years since the girls left. Two and a half since the Washington's and Burrs left. Frequent arguments that seemed to grow nastier and nastier with each passing day. It broke John's heart to see them do this, his favorite people that once got on so well, a wildfire with no end in sight. But he guessed that was starting to burn itself out as he watched Lafayette and Alexander lash out at each other, equal frustrations and stress running high over a lack of supplies and so many sleepless nights coming up to haunt them.

He'd never seen them argue with each other before. Only with other people together. So it was terrifying to him, to see the cracks start to show themselves in their friendship, _that supposedly unbreakable bond_ , he'd once thought bitterly as he watched them argue. And when he felt like he'd fallen, he clung to Hercules, let him cover his ears, squeeze his eyes shut, pretend the stress of the situation wasn't destroying them altogether. He always made it better, he'd cover his ears or take him elsewhere, talk about something else, give him suggestions for doodles of pen, lead or crayons. Once Alexander had gotten frustrated because they'd started to run out of paper to write on, to map out where they'd been and keep track of things, but then he'd realized John had been using it, drawing and doodling when he was stressed and he just walked away, let himself calm down before compromising with him that he'd keep the doodles on the corners and sides, small so they could keep track and enjoy John's art all the same.

That seemed to solve the situation so John would doodle lions or turtles because those particular ones always seemed to make Alex smile even on the worst days. Sometimes he'd ask to commandeer an entire page because he had something he really wanted to get out of his head and that always seemed to soothe everyone. He'd draw pictures of his family, of his friends.

The last time he'd asked was months ago. He drew the four of them together before the apocalypse happened, a faint memory of them at a party, holding cups and smiling away at a camera as they hung onto each other.

Lafayette had broke down sobbing when they saw the picture. Alexander pulled John close and hugged him tightly. Hercules pulled Lafayette into him and they spent a whole day hanging onto each other, softly reminiscing old times they barely remembered anymore. They cried themselves out and slept the best they had in actual years since the apocalypse started. But when that day was up and they woke up, it was as if everything was back to the way it was in this mess. Frustrations and stress, lashing out and getting angry, but they kept quiet for John's sake that day - Lafayette and Alexander working around each other, tense and dead silent, wouldn't even look at each other as they split up what food they could for breakfast and got a move on to hopefully find more supplies.

That day they had the worst argument he'd ever seen them have.

They were out of supplies that weren't bullets and weapons. The fighting got explosive. John couldn't breath, fought back tears as he watched those cracks worsen, watched that fire fight itself and burn out further as Alex and Lafayette snapped and yelled and lashed out, Hercules far too busy trying to keep them from physically fighting to deal with John. When it was all over, Lafayette stormed off with Hercules rushing after them, questioning where they were going, what they wanted to do, and Alex turned and stormed out of their little camp, didn't stop, so John scrambled to his feet, grabbed his bag and their guns just in case and chased after. The infected could be anywhere, he wanted to be safe, he wanted to keep Alexander safe. Hercules could deal with Lafayette, obviously John could handle Alex so they could make up, right?

But Alex kept going, only noticed John when they were a good distance away and he started to pace, only stopped upon seeing John and that broken expression on his face. Then he spent ten minutes hugging John tightly and hushing him despite John's attempts to calm him. He figured maybe those unshed tears were glistening in his eyes, a dead giveaway to the emotions he held back, but he appreciated the attempts despite how obviously frustrated Alexander was and John calmed down quick, swallowing thick before asking that they go back.

The last image he could remember of them together, of them smiling, laughing, no problems in the world utterly shattered as Alexander said he was never going back.

And after at least ten minutes of standing in each other's arms, clinging to each other, Alex... Released him, turned and walked away. John sputtered, unsure what to do. He glanced around, didn't know if he could really walk back by himself, didn't know if infected were around. Didn't want to leave Laf and Herc, but especially didn't want Alex going off on his own. So he ran after, grabbed his arm and whined. It was nice with how much care he had for John, how different his love was for each of them, because he stopped and looked at John in confusion rather than snapping or pushing him away. There was no doubting his frustration, his fury over the fight. But he wasn't going to take it out on John - not this time. So John smiled weakly, softly asked if they could go back to camp for a moment. Alex furrowed his brows, questioned that 'we', and John's shoulders slumped, face dropping finally. The false happy mask shattered as he stated that he was coming with Alex whether he liked it or not. But he wanted to leave Lafayette and Hercules a note first - an apology, a goodbye.

So Alex couldn't help but agree. They walked back. Alex stayed out of sight, John took two pieces of paper and his personal water bottle he'd even painted a "J" on. There was barely any in it. He poured what he had into Alex's empty one and stuck both in he and Alex's bags, settled both bags on his arm and didn't even glance at Laf and Herc's. He wrote a quick note on the notepad, put the two pieces of paper in his bag, left the note there and walked out with tears dripping down his cheeks. John and Lafayette were always the more emotional ones. Especially when John got like this - crying without reason was unavoidable sometimes, but lately, there were so many reasons he couldn't even begin to list. He looked back toward the camp, took a deep breath and prayed God may be listening, prayed he could change Alex's mind the next day and they could go back and it'd all be okay.

The rest of the day passed slowly with Alex and John walking close holding their guns. They just kept going. Further and further away, passed abandoned buildings, stores, homes, didn't stop. John felt sick, didn't know where they were going and started questioning why they even left. So after what felt like hours of walking, and may have actually been, he softly asked why, and actually had to stop to empty his stomach when Alex pointed out, in an almost tired, monotone voice, "They don't want me around anymore. You did."

Then he remembered when he truly thought about the fight. Lafayette had said that, hadn't they? Full of rage and frustration and days without sleep, he'd snapped something he didn't mean, hissed that _maybe Alex should just **go** if he wasn't happy with **them**_.

Alex rubbed John's back until he was done sobbing and dry heaving. They found an abandoned store and took shelter in there for the day, John cracked a smile as Alex grumbled a soft, "This isn't a game." When he saw two water bottles, other things like soda, teas, things others just left in the back fridge of the store with a note, ' _For the next guy who needs it_ '. They were foolish to not take the water with them, so Alex did and went over to John with the bottles. A hand under his chin and the other holding one of the bottles after he opened it, Alex made John slowly take a few sips and held him close for another hour.

When he could stand without shaking, they looked around the store, found strewn about items they could use. Boxes and chairs in particular, and managed to slowly box themselves in an aisle where they finally fell asleep curled up together. It took a while for John to really fall asleep as expected, but it was nice having Alex there.

_Alex left, and I didn't want to leave him alone. Hope we see you both again.  
           I'm gonna miss you, and I love you, Laf and Herc._

_-_  
_J.Lau, A.Ham._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took a bit to get this out! I'm usually on top of this, but writer's block got me good. I'm going to finish it today though!

When they woke up, it was still so _early_. The sun had barely started to rise when Alexander awoke, and he found himself watching that _far_ less than peaceful look on John's face. Like he wanted to wake up, escape the _nightmares_ but his exhaustion kept him under. It didn't take long for Alexander to suck it up and wake him up, heart aching for him as his companion gasped and jerked away, He was filled with fear for a moment, couldn't breathe as he stared at Alexander, but then he relaxed and so did Alex who offered him a weak smile before John had the edge of a water bottle pressed to his lips and John slowly drank a little bit, grateful for the help. It was easier to wake up and start settling in to the day with the water in him, and John returned the favor holding Alex's water bottle with both hands and making him drink as well before setting it down.

It took a while for the two to get going. John didn't want to, he didn't want to rush. Or, that's what he told Alex. Found himself hoping maybe if he could stall Alex their friends could catch up and maybe put a stop to this. But when he hesitantly asked Alex if they could go back, he got such a look on his face. Something hollow, something bitter. He immediately refused and said John could go back if he wanted, but he wasn't going to. How did they even get into this situation? John felt a fear he couldn't really name, a cold chill as Alex refused. He wasn't going to risk Alex getting hurt on his own, so John sluggishly dragged up his bag to stuff his water bottle in it so they could get going. Alex took his bag from him, gave him a look that kept him from asking why, so he quietly holstered his gun and trailed after his companion as the two carried on.

Alex could be... Thick. Stubborn. They'd both had a history of not recognizing what was in front of them as it was, and their tempers and how stubborn they were kept them from doing things they needed to do. For John, it was his stubbornness to stay by Alexander's side, to not fight with him any further that kept him from forcefully dragging him back to camp. And for Alex...

It was admitting that just maybe he was wrong.

But neither said a word. They just walked side by side, explored quietly, Alex didn't say a word as John moved one hand to tangle their fingers together, hang on to him without even looking at him as they examined abandoned stores and buildings and obvious ex camps, finding what supplies they could. They were down even more supplies due to leaving their own group and it still tore at John's heart when he thought about it. He tried not to. Time seemed to pass by so quickly when John practically hid in his own head. There seemed to be a lack of infected around, which John was thankful for as they stayed in the area for a few days, thankful for the time he had to hide away in his own mind, to not speak, to just quietly follow Alex as he tried to come up with a plan.

It was John's idea to start with. Hey, let's go this way, I know a place we could stay at for a bit to get supplies - family owned, he'd assured Alex who looked confused, even skeptical, but he had no reason to question John's judgment yet, so they did.

It was around an actual week, perhaps even longer before they seemed to make any progress as they walked and walked and walked, struggled to find safe places to settle down for rest every so often. John hated the dark, Alex hated the openness. That was another reason John missed their group so much. Lafayette and Hercules had always been like parents to them in many ways - they all took care of each other, but when it came down to it, Hercules was level headed, he kept everyone calm, quiet and relaxed as they figured out what to do, Lafayette made sure they were all well fed and compromised on where they'd all stay when it was time to rest. More rest to be had among them when they traded out who guarded the others for two hours before switching out. He had to take care of Alex, he had to focus, so he stopped sleeping a lot - he opted to stay awake, stay up and guard Alexander as he caught up on much needed rest each night.

Alex was so _tired_ , so _irritated_ that he didn't seem to notice, trapped in his own head, his own _wild_ , _painful_ thoughts distracting him from any distress John seemed to be in. He still occasionally made sure John drank water or sat and rested with him whenever they did. They were both _hungry_ , _tired_ , and felt more **_alone_ ** than they had in their lives despite being together. Things just weren't the _same_ without the other two, and that hurt. That hurt a _lot_.

John would wake up from a nightmare, saw Alex had fallen asleep, heart in his throat as he shook and shivered. Each time it happened, John would get up and walk away. Just far enough that he could still see Alex, have his own semblance of privacy. Break down sobbing into his knees as quietly as he could, heaving and crying until that numbness took over once again. If Alex did anything of the sort, John didn't notice, trapped in his own mind, his own aching heart and empty soul. Alex noticed the tear stains. The slow, sluggish way he'd move, how he occasionally had to squint in the daylight to see better and the occasional hand to his head - an obvious headache if he was right about the almost pained look on John's face whenever he did such actions before dropping them just as quickly.

 

He never asked, John never told. There was something between them now - a _wall_ , perhaps. Something thick, _tall_ , kept them from talking, from opening up, so they just kept moving, _empty_ , _worn_ souls trying to find their way.

 

One day, John had slowed down further, forcing Alex to do the same to be able to let John keep up to him. The hand holding wasn't helping - dragging John along wasn't going to make matters better. So he tried to be understanding, tried to keep his temper in check this time. John obviously wasn't feeling good. They never did anymore, but this was something else, and it had Alex worried as he slowed again to stand right by John's side which made him slow even further, was obviously not staring at the ground like that for the fun of it so much as he was so tired, watching Alex's feet - taking his lead. When Alexander stopped, so did John and that only proved that idea further so he stepped closer to John, felt his heart clench at the sound of John's hitched breath, obvious refusal to raise his head. God, he was a mess... Tangled, filthy curls tied into a bun that's been there who knew how long, circles under his eyes... But when had he gotten so pale?

"What's going on with you?" Alex breathed, moving one hand to John's cheek as the other pressed to his forehead, forcing him to meet his eyes. It hurt to see those tears forming again, but Alex spared him a comment and just felt both his cheeks and forehead, swore softly before taking his hand again, tugging him in close. They were close to another town, there had to be a pharmacy, a store, something with medication. If there was even still any medication. It took longer than Alex would've liked to get into the town - anything longer than five minutes would have been longer than he'd have liked. It wouldn't do for John's fever to get worse while they were so in the open. In the end, Alex couldn't open the locked door and settled for making John rest by the pharmacy, keep his gun on him just in case and ran to find perhaps some tools or a key or something. Wishful thinking, but he did come back with a rock. John snorted softly, but Alex rolled his eyes and broke the remains of the edges of a window, struggled to climb in past the boards and before long, the door was unlocking and he pulled John in.

There was medicine scattered on the floor, less important things strewn about, but Alex felt sick upon finding nothing he could use. Nothing for pain, fevers, anything he could've used on John who looked more worse for wear. They ended up agreeing to keep moving, keep heading to this so called safe place. Alex was furious, shoved over a while empty aisle in the store with some satisfaction at the clattering sounds, some of that frustration fading despite that horrified look on John's face. He insisted they leave quick, so they did, got moving as quickly as they could. But that was the worst thing they could've done. When had so many infected gathered in the minutes they were in there?

It was hard to push through them, every gun shot drawing more to where the two were. It was hard to stay close, to stay focused when they had to move, had to avoid getting too close to them. And God, Alex hated how he glanced over and saw that distance between he and John, the infected starting to get too close, kept him from running over that very second to keep them close. He hated it. Hated how helpless he felt, how helpless _John_ looked. So obviously sick, once steady hands shaking as he held the gun in both to aim, wasn't even nailing every hit like he tended to do. He was a good shot - not anymore, it seemed.

But Alex never felt more helpless really, never felt that amount of fear than when they had a good amount of infected taken down, but then a _click_ that rang out louder than the gunshots just when they'd started to get on top of fighting them back, and John's _petrified_ look meeting's Alex's. _Knew_ what that meant, didn't want to _admit_ to the situation they were both in.

 _He was out of bullets_.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to Moonscar for the idea of how to start this chapter!
> 
> Apologies for any grammar / punctuation errors. It's currently 1:35 am as I post this!

_Alex left, and I didn't want to leave him alone. Hope we see you both again.  
           I'm gonna miss you, and I love you, Laf and Herc._

  _-_  
_J.Lau, A.Ham._

 

 

 Lafayette was relieved to have Hercules' help to calm down. He calm, level headed, knew how to deal with each of them and in turn, they were happy to help him.  _Maybe you should just **go**  if you are not happy with  **us**_.  _ **Go**  if you are not happy._

_**Go**._

God, did they really say that? One thing after another, days and days, years of dealing with their terrible moods. They always handled Alexander calmly, didn't they? They did back then. They knew how to handle all three of them and their moods, had known them for so long it was as easy as breathing. So why did they yell such a thing? Why did they get so angry?

That was all back when the group had more people, had actual supplies, had eaten at least something once a week or so depending on how much food they had. It seemed all too easy to blame each other for such a disaster. They'd all seen those military personnel stomping around, acting like they had such a disaster contained and under control. Alex had claimed they could go with them get their help, maybe they could fix things, help them. John, ever the observant one, had pointed out that they'd been  _executing_  survivors, not helping them. He'd seen them around, alright. Doing less than helping. Alex refused to believe it, but they wouldn't go. That was the start of it. Of Alex blaming them for their lack of supplies, their lack of safety, their constant fear and need for weaponry and bullets.

He only yelled at John for it once, hated how he wouldn't fight back, wouldn't even try. Just shrunk in on himself, looked guilty, looked crushed, and Alex backed off immediately, guilt gnawing at him as well not to mention that look Lafayette had given him for doing such a thing.

But that led to his anger turning on them instead. Snapping and lashing out at them about their severe lack of supplies, their fear and caution, how they kept babying John despite their situation.  _There's no time for that anymore, he isn't a little kid, he's a grown ass man and he can fend for himself if he has to so stop treating him like that!_

John hadn't looked at him for at least three days. Lafayette never responded to the comment - it enraged them, but that was no time for a screaming match. They weren't sure if it was because John and Hercules were there, or if it was because they didn't know if the town was  _clear_. The prospect of it being the latter terrified them, so they took a deep breath, tried to keep their cool and didn't give in to the rage starting up in their veins.  _No time_.  ** _No time_**. No time to worry, no time to give in, no time to cause such a crack in their group, in their friendship. But the cracks were there, and those cracks kept growing worse and worse every time they fought until Alexander had pushed them to their limit. What did they truly mean?  _If you are not happy with us, go_. It was their betrayal, plain and simple. Everything the two did for Alexander and John and it still wasn't enough for the former. The latter seemed... Rather content no matter what they did, how many supplies they had. They had sat down with John in an abandoned store one day while Alex and Hercules scavenged a town for supplies, held him close and quietly asked why he never got upset with them. John had fidgeted before smiling sheepishly at them and quietly admitting that they could be out of supplies and starving and he'd still be happy because he was with the three of them. His family.

They almost cried then and there, hugging John as close as they could until Alexander and Hercules returned, and they dragged the two down to squish John between them as well. Hercules didn't ask why, Alexander did, scoffed at the answer but didn't say anything. That sound said all he needed to, they figured. Doubting John's love of them, maybe, or doubting how happy he'd truly be if they were genuinely starving and in such a situation and all he had was them. No one said anything.

That letter, though...

That broke them. 

 

When they had finally calmed enough to return to camp with Hercules, fully ready to apologize and perhaps make a plan together to solve their problems. Except it was empty. Their things were there. Alex, John and their respective bags were not. Their heart dropped into their stomach as they quickly scanned around, tried to find some sign of what happened, figured perhaps they'd been stolen from and not that harsh truth, that small idea that planted itself in their head as the fear put a cold weight in their stomach. Hercules was the one who found the letter. waved them over to read it and hated those tears that formed in their eyes at such a letter. They were gone. That harsh truth, that idea was the reality. Alexander took Lafayette's advice and ran with it, and apparently John went with him. They scanned over the letter over and over before giving it back, starting to ramble in French as they paced, tried to figure out what to do.

 

_Alex left, and I didn't want to leave him alone. Hope we see you both again.  
           I'm gonna miss you, and I love you, Laf and Herc._

  _-_  
_J.Lau, A.Ham._

 

_\--- >_

_GW MW. VA_

 

Hercules was the one who really looked, flipped the note over and folded it up, stuck it in his own bag before he got up to pull them close, hush them as he slowly rubbed their back, quietly assured them they would be okay. They didn't seem to fully believe him, but they clung to him for all it was worth, shaking a little as they tried to calm and think. Herc swore to them they would both go looking the next morning. They needed rest - they were wound up completely. Hercules had complete faith they'd be just fine. Lafayette did as well, though not near as much as he did. Their worries of the two out on their own completely outweighed that.

So the two rested - or, they laid down together and Hercules tried to get them to relax just long enough to really sleep. They both fell asleep rather late, woke up early though still later than they'd have preferred. Hercules told them he knew a few places John would go if he got separated - it was something the two discussed a good while ago when Lafayette was gathering supplies with Alex anyway. Where would he go, what would he do if they got separated? Go somewhere familiar and wait there. So with a deep breath, they trusted him and agreed to follow him. They packed up and off they went. God, Lafayette hated being so far away from either of them. It wore on them so quickly, had them fidgeting and just itching to run as fast as they could, pray to god perhaps they could catch up before something horrible happened to them. But they'd said they would trust him, they'd follow his lead and they were not about to make a liar of themselves. They simply took a shaky breath, tried to refrain from letting those strong feelings overcome them as they breathed, hoped the two would look after each other and stay safe until they got there to be by their sides; to protect them.

 

No matter how utterly furious they got with Alexander, they would never even think of something bad happening to him. They loved both their boys dearly, they hated that Alex had chosen then to run off. So they hoped Hercules was correct, that they could find them quick.

It took a long while. They got more antsy, hated how long the days, weeks seemed. They slept less, only did so and drank water when Hercules would pull them down and finally push their water bottle against their lips or hold them close and assure them the boys'll be okay. They struggled to believe it every day as time wore on, tried to hold out their hope that their boys were just fine. Hercules took care of them as best he could. He was worried too, but he rationalized it - John was a good shot, Alex took care of him even if he got in pissy moods. They'd look out for each other, they were both good shots and rather strong; they could care for themselves. And he could see that doubt on Lafayette's face as he told them as such over and over, but he just kept doing it, hoped they'd believe him. He couldn't help that sigh of relief when he saw that old  _Welcome to Virginia_  sign.

They were so close. They could do this. It took so long, was still taking too long, but they'd get there.

When they did finally reach that door, Lafayette's face slowly filled with recognition and they insisted they knock. It was still and quiet before they hesitantly rapped their knuckles against the door and took a step back. When the door opened and they saw that kind face, their eyes filled with tears that finally spilled over when she gasped and fussed immediately, pulling her son into a tight hug. Hercules just smiled and let them have their moment as Martha cried too, both of them hugging each other tight. He had to take a moment to really appreciate the three story white house, paint chipping in places, the whole lot fortified, barricades stuck up. Stone, wood, electrical fencing. George truly went all out on this to keep it safe. When they were done clinging, Hercules was yanked into a hug as well and he chuckled as Laf darted past them both.

Herc left them to it, taking a moment to talk to Martha and catch up a bit. Lafayette first found the kitchen, that wide eyed, surprised look on their face as they looked around, breath caught to see George standing by the kitchen washing blood off his hands. They couldn't begin to say how thankful they were when he didn't hold them up, simply smiled kindly at them and told them John and Alex were upstairs, second door on the left, pointed were the stairs were and Lafayette nodded once and bolted. The sight that met them honestly crushed them when they pushed open that door, froze in the doorway. The room was dark, just a dim bedside lamp on and there was John on the bed. Bloody sheets off to the side, pale skin, cheeks sunken, obviously asleep. Alex looked horrified to see them there, stood up quickly from his place beside John's bed, opened his mouth to say something, anything, but then Lafayette quickly closed the distance and yanked him into such a tight hug Alex couldn't really even hope to escape. Not unless he truly wanted to. And that begged the question, did he even want to?

It was a few tense, silent moments before Alexander finally crumpled, face broke, tears flowed as his hands gripped their shirt so tightly, soft, barely audible apologies in French whispered back and forth. Eventually hit their knees with Alex in their arms, couldn't even stand on their own two feet as they apologized for what they said, swore to any god out there, cross their heart, on their absolute _lives_ that they didn't mean what they said. They were so scared, they worried so much, prayed every day that they'd find their boys and it'd all be okay. It took a half an hour before Hercules finally joined them. Let Lafayette and Alex stay wrapped up together on the floor as he stepped over and gently took John's hand, sat on the edge of the bed and watched him. Forty five minutes pass and Laf and Alex only looked up because they heard soft words, mumbling and Alex yanked away from Laf so quickly. They didn't have time to get upset, saw he only did it to rush back to the bed and hush John, whispers in Spanish before John obediently stopped trying to talk to Hercules, tears still falling from his eyes as well, choked up yet tired all the same.

Lafayette took Hercules's place. He held Alexander close and tight to his chest, assured him it'd all be okay, Lafayette gently brushed the hair from John's face and felt his forehead, cooed softly. It was a miracle they'd gotten to George and Martha's. It was a miracle they survived. And with tears falling down their face, they smiled softly at their 'son' and whispered how it was a miracle he was such a little genius. A weak sob escaped John but Hercules wouldn't let him dart over again, assured him they needed their moment, he'd be okay. A pained noise joined the sob and Lafayette was quick to hush him, gently ran their fingers through his hair until he quieted down, soft sniffles and a broken heart they stitched back together like they always did.

Eventually, they were all ushered out, even Alex, by Martha who wouldn't take no for an answer. John had a bad wound on his shoulder and side, lost a lot of blood and was running a fever - he needed to rest. Under the promise they wouldn't say a word, wouldn't disturb him, Martha hesitantly allowed Lafayette to stay in the room at his side, seemed to understand that sort of parental protection. They'd gone without him for weeks, they needed it. So she allowed it, swore he'd pay if he woke John up, accident or not, and they promised they wouldn't. So while they stayed with John, laid beside him and held his hand, watching him sleep, Martha showed Hercules to his room, pointed out Alex would have to stay with him because Laf was staying with John, but Alex didn't seem to have a problem with it and neither did Herc. Left alone in their room, the two actually talked - Herc was always so easygoing, no worries of an outburst from him unless he'd truly had enough. But Alex was terrified when Herc immediately laid into him about how terrified Lafayette was, how they cried daily even when they thought Herc couldn't see those tears, the nightmares, the lack of sleep.

The guilt must've shown on his face, this... Realization. His calm, confused expression crumpling as more tears poured like rain and Hercules pulled him into his lap, held him close. When John finally woke up hours later with just Lafayette at his side, he quietly told them everything. A run down of what happened, how he'd run out of bullets, he'd slipped up, he couldn't get Alex to go home and he was _so sorry._

 

But they didn't look mad. John was still crying, had been since he'd realized they were finally there, but they didn't mind and gently cupped his cheek, brushed tears away with their thumb softly, whispered about how much they'd missed their boy, and how worried they were. How relieved they were. How proud of him they were for the note. Hercules had certainly seemed proud, laughed when they got worried about where John and Alex could be and he showed them that note. They'd given him such a look, but that look melted off his face when they saw the back of it, those abbreviations. He wouldn't mindlessly write letters, that was for sure. John couldn't really sit up, couldn't cling to them like he wanted to, but after reaching up for them and pouting, pleading softly, they got under the blanket and slowly pulled John into their arms, pressed a soft kiss to his forehead.

Days passed that way. They barely left his side, saw his healing through themselves. Alex tried not to leave either, but sometimes Martha was just having none of it. Alex had whined, asked why they could stay but not him and she grinned, said he was noisy and rude and pushed him toward the kitchen to help George fix dinner. Alex was the one to feed John when it was dinner time every night, however. Hercules would help John sit up slowly, and Alex would slowly feed him until John refused anymore. He could barely eat more than four bites at first as he started healing, but each day Alex asked if he could try to take another, so he agreed. One extra bite of his dinner each day until he'd finished the whole thing, looked a bit woozy but Alex pressed a kiss to his forehead, moved the trash can to his bed side and softly told him to sleep more.

Alex and Lafayette became near inseparable from this. If Lafayette followed George out to check the fortifications or take care of the animals or their farm, Alexander was bound to trail after like a lost puppy while Hercules stayed with John, reading him books Martha offered or helping him eat his breakfast or lunch. They slowly found a sort of routine to their days, and Martha had them convinced to stay pretty easily. They hadn't seen much of the Burrs when they'd first shown up, but of course, that was likely because they were focused on John and his recovery. It was as if they hadn't really existed there until one morning they'd checked on John and saw Aaron sitting at his bedside reading this time, reading to a sleepy looking John and an already asleep under John's good arm Theodosia Jr. Theodosia Sr had opted to help George make breakfast this time, and Alex got to really know her - and Aaron and their daughter in turn as they all sat at the table and talked, ate breakfast together while Aaron read John right back to sleep. It was odd, seeing him of all people trying to care for John when he never seemed to have an interest in any of them, but when Alex finally asked him why while they were all sitting around talking or writing or reading, Aaron looked up, stared at him a long moment. Right as Alex worried he'd crossed a line, as Laf looked ready to try and change the subject for everyone's sakes, Aaron stated that he liked John.

They seemed confused, softly questioned it themselves, and he just smiled indulgently. He was loud, sure. Noisy, a former alcoholic, violent, but also a kid at heart, just as scared of the future as the rest of them in the world they lived in, and to top it off, Theo never seemed to relax with anyone except Theo Sr or Martha. Rare moments Aaron and George themselves as well, but she just never took to anyone like she did to the wounded man as she curled up at his side, puppy dog eyed the sick man into softly telling her stories about their lives before this apocalypse even happened. It took a while before John was fully better - had been slow to start walking around or clean the wounds, he hated it, hated the sting and the sharp pains as George carefully cleaned them so an infection wouldn't take over. But when all was said and done and he was better, he asked Lafayette for paper, Alex for his pen.

When he'd returned downstairs to them all hours later, there was a rough, pen drawn sketch of all of them on that paper that he presented to them. George with Martha in front of him, Alex and John clinging to each other, Lafayette and Hercules with one arm each around each other and their other hands on John and Alex's shoulders. John holding Theo Jr, Theo Sr beside them with Aaron. Smiles on everyone's faces.

Everyone smiled, and everyone cried. John's art was getting rougher, sketchy, but it was to be expected in such a time. But it was always warming to see such happy pictures in such dark times. And as John plopped himself in Lafayette's lap and curled up with one hand taking Alex's and the other Herc's, Alex figured it'd be okay for once. They could stay, they could live, and most importantly, they'd have each other.


End file.
